Annar in the Inbetweens

How To Wake Up

“Scientifically, you’ve already interrupted your REM cycle— you’re not going to feel more rested than this, you know— so come on, come on darling, wake up. It isn’t so bad once you get out of bed. I know it’s cold, but you will warm up. Your faux leather jacket is hanging on the door, put it on.

I know you’re sad; I know you think you can’t do this anymore. I know you don’t want to do this anymore, but please know this is the saddest you’re going to be all day. It doesn’t get worse than this, okay? You have been through so much, your will, your strength, your love— nothing has overcome you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

So come on. First, put some music on. Your “Summer Forever” playlist helps. Or The Walkmen, better yet— Arcade Fire. No sad music, I know you’re tempted. Okay, next, cross off yesterday’s date from your calendar. Now you can see everything you have to do today. It looks nice and busy, and you won’t be sad at all. You’re brilliant, the rest of the day will be a breeze. Your clothes are laying on the wooden chair in the corner, the restroom has what you need to finish getting dressed. Your shoes are downstairs, the pan on the stove has oatmeal ready to warm up. Your keys are on the table. It’s okay, just get out of the door. Something is waiting.

I love you, you’re going to be okay.”

I recorded this over the weekend for myself. It is quite creepy, but it made today a little easier to get out of bed. It was hell, but “Something is waiting”, really helped. It gets better, I believe.
It gets better, I hope.