January 2012
21 posts
Jan 26th
7 notes
2 tags
Constant Force
And I loved you with this constant force—       in the ways of sunlight      or gravity,      how it moves      and exists. It is infinite, it is there,     uninterrupted,     unfaltering,     unalterable, suddenly and indefinitely. Trust that, and we will survive it. Limit it, and we will collapse beneath it’s weight. 
Jan 19th
5 notes
2 tags
Halogen
I can feel the movement of the halogen fingers of every letter         that composes every word                  piecing, prying, and         pushing its own way         from in between the bones of my ribcage—                  where I keep my most unbearable truths                  suppressed and locked away—         to the surface of my chest.         From there, these fingers...
Jan 18th
3 notes
Existence is harrowing winds                  in an infinite abyss banging and pushing against the walls of nothingness. But even the children can find enlightenment there. 
Jan 14th
8 notes
2 tags
Sometimes, I feel like my soul is on fire With wit, with love, with a melancholic despair that pushes me to write and run and take long walks at 3am       with a horn strapped to my back       and my adventure notebook             in the pocket             of my coat. In my sleep, I shake it off, I dream of flames and touching things    that turn to dust. I’m on fire, I’m on fire, and...
Jan 14th
6 notes
3 tags
Jan 14th
7 notes
I can’t get my rhythm right. Everything is too damn loud. Be still, be still, be still— so I can sing and show you. 
Jan 12th
2 notes
2 tags
Beginners
Eras are surfacing from things that are undead but disbanding in dimensions, replacing unwanted touches and sounds and the screams we made infront of mounts of cocaine mixed with gun powder and the blood we accidentally spilled as kids. Our almond eyes are brighter now and we have music flooding our ears and the gentle lights from venues taper to our skin as though we belong we see things now in...
Jan 12th
2 notes
2 tags
You are a man with hands that carry the scent of the freshest of flowers— reminding me of the kinds of plants we find on the graves of saints; reminding me of hints of eternity that are later complimented by your kisses that drag like molasses and carry the essence of drunken sways, perfect circles and the acceptance of death but I am quickly stirred awake by the scent of the flowers we find...
Jan 12th
4 notes
4 tags
WatchWatch
     I was about a week late on the album review. Powerdove’s “Be Mine”. It sat there, I stared at my email inbox. My editor ended several sentences in question marks, my email had hundreds of unread messages, I had arrived from New Orleans after a series of unpredictable, yet —in retrospect— completely predictable occurrences.      Suicidal thoughts at the...
Jan 12th
11 tags
Feature: Remnants of The Calm Blue Sea via Red...
“Luck,” Steve Bidwell says in a dry, unwavering voice. “Luck,” Chris Patin follows in the same tone. Luck. The word finds itself suspended in a brief, yet lingering silence. It’s the word the two original members of The Calm Blue Sea use to describe the band’s return from an 18-month hiatus. “Certain stars aligned,” Bidwell explains. A series of seemingly cosmic events triggered the...
Jan 11th
1 note
5 tags
Jan 11th
4 tags
Jan 5th
4 notes
2 tags
Your hand in mine, how it was until you passed that i began to search the lights; how it was until you passed that they began to call my name. (032009)
Jan 4th
4 notes
You see, there were two definitive kinds of crazy I have discovered within myself. There is the kind that you are born with. It is constantly triggered by environment, by emotion, by stress and love and finances. Fear. Hunger. Excitement. Then there is this strange version of insanity that society feeds you, by the mouth. A crazy that gives you ulcers in your sleep when no one is touching you, or...
Jan 4th
4 notes
The Breaths Of Dying Flowers and Sleeping Children
This room is like sleeping beside wilting flowers breath in, breath out the trickling of petals the downfall of handpicked, altered, and selfishly exchanged bouquets This room is like carbon monoxide dizzy spells and talks of hell We need to leave and let this die; things are catching fire like the stars. 
Jan 4th
1 note
Still nights like these, when the howling of the wind and of the dogs and of the broken fan up there, there, there make the eerie sounds of cheap post-rock and looping tracks that sit ontop of looping tracks              because insanity drives you in despair              for overlapping chords sound like different worlds you swear, swear, swear you’ve heard before. 3am, it’s 3am, and...
Jan 4th
1 note
I am the essence of a drunken sway followed by a drunken sway with muttering words that claim to be “okay”— modest attempts of holding it together amidst a laughter coated in the dilated vessels from rosy, rosy cheeks. Kiss me here, no here— feel my words, hear me, hear me. The ocean waves that pound and beat against every steady sturdy force, exhausted      to be still  ...
Jan 4th
1 note
I am swimming into the deep end,              she said, going into the places no one else would go. I’ll tell you how the water feels right before I fall.
Jan 4th
11 notes
5 tags
Your Sound and Being Seen in the Inbetweens
You go on walking the streets with this one rhythm you have had your entire life. This one muffled beat that pounds steadier, louder, more definitive, more confidently than your own footsteps, your own heartbeat— it makes a song with your breaths, with your blinking— this one beating of the drum. It is your essence, it is your goddamn fucking song— it drives you insane, it...
Jan 2nd
5 notes
We are going to catch fire like the stars.
Jan 2nd
2 notes
December 2011
31 posts
21.
Slowly, I am becoming a more actualized version of myself. With each day, each moment, each accident, every job, every kiss, every “A” and “F”, and every fucking time I say “I love you”, and mean it. I think this is the best birthday I am having yet, because I am not ashamed of who I am. I am quite useless, and quite worthless, a hot mess every second of every...
Dec 30th
13 notes
2 tags
Magic Still Stirs
I still blow you kisses towards the South East from the tallest hill in my city, from the tallest building here among the setting sun, I still love you and it still hurts but I know you are free and I am free to fight, to love, to laugh with others, without us.   And magic still stirs in the inbetweens like unsettling dust when I blow a kiss down South. Even though I am now a grown woman—...
Dec 27th
Dec 27th
How To Spend The Holidays Alone
Today I: Woke up. Made coffee. Made tea. Made hot chocolate.     Drank them at the same time, I was curious. It was too quite; it was too cold in my drafty apartment     so I jumped on my bed for 30 minutes and laughed. Opened the window and watched the birds and listened to the dogs howl. Laid on my bed and felt my heartbeat and batted my eyes at the ceiling. Called my mother      cried. ...
Dec 25th
Dec 25th
3,894 notes
Dec 24th
2 tags
I am slipping from your hands And you are unaware that this is it. this is us falling out of love this is us losing.  
Dec 23rd
Dec 23rd
6 notes
2 tags
Sometimes our mouths are on fire     from the anguish of our hearts     and the burning in our brains and we spit out things we never even mean and kiss lips we were to never kiss drink wine that was never ours to drink     we’ll consume anything to put the fire out. because we’re catching flames; convinced we’re young and dying and refuse to go without a vulgar fight.
Dec 19th
8 notes
2 tags
I see myself in other worlds   where things are brighter   and ghosts are free to play I see myself in other worlds    where the edges of cliffs    and bridges and balconies;    tops of buildings and 7th story windows    don’t speak the word “jump” I see myself in other worlds     where things are better—     and everyone can feel the trees     and everyone can see the...
Dec 19th
How To Wake Up
“Scientifically, you’ve already interrupted your REM cycle— you’re not going to feel more rested than this, you know— so come on, come on darling, wake up. It isn’t so bad once you get out of bed. I know it’s cold, but you will warm up. Your faux leather jacket is hanging on the door, put it on. I know you’re sad; I know you think you can’t do...
Dec 19th
11 notes
Don’t you understand?         don’t you understand?         God, don’t you understand, don’t you?! You are free.       From everyone, everything, all.           Every person you ever loved           Your rent, your bills           your grades, your love,           your disappointments, even Nothing, no one can touch you. No one can take what you create, nothing can destroy...
Dec 19th
6 notes
Dec 18th
7 notes
In regards to relationships, friendships, and all those ships: The only thing I like to commit to is not committing. 
Dec 17th
4 tags
Dec 17th
“She did not want to go to work, although she was very late; and so she remained...”
– — James Alan McPherson, Hue and Cry This is me.
Dec 16th
105 notes
2 tags
Sometimes, we try so so hard to belong to someone         desperate, anxious         scratches on thighs           bruises on shoulders                 a kiss here, and here, and there         see me,hold me love me, need, need                                                      need me.         cheating, lying, sweet, damned bastards         who never bring flowers,              but still want...
Dec 14th
7 notes
2 tags
drunkonSpanishliterature I sit here writing and reading lesson plans for a man that wants my tongue on his mind— a lesson or two     to teach with laughter    and to pay for my rent.  ”How much do you want?”                 I’m fatherless and poor;     I want it all until I die.
Dec 14th
5 notes
2 tags
No Moon, No Moss
Walking in the direction of the cigarette smoke, that’s how we’ll get home      it moves like ghosts,      it moves like us.
Dec 12th
8 notes
2 tags
I couldn’t stop and couldn’t breathe because of the blacks and blues and purples       with yellow freckles on my thighs and arms and ribs. and now I speak with red, red lips and bloody fists.  And I can’t stop.         screaming. 
Dec 12th
4 notes
11 tags
Dec 11th
9 notes
2 tags
Black and gold            among other things are reflected            in your eyes, dark dark and ancient. Waiting, shining like gleaming stones      at the bottom of a moonlit sea.                                       You are beautiful,                                       upon the black and gold                                               among other things—                                ...
Dec 9th
Dec 9th
3 notes
2 tags
The same things that drive you to freedom will push you off a building, off a bridge or into a speeding car. There is no safety in passion, just freedom, will, and insanity. 
Dec 9th
2 tags
These men take them away,       the ones with twitching heads       that scream and shout               I’ve seen them cry  The men in suits with pepper spray and tazer guns drag them into trucks taking them by the carloads.       the ones pulled from society       they grab my skirt and sit on me       saying something about       somethin’ about love and the devil      I wonder what...
Dec 9th
Dec 8th
2 tags
Sadness creeps            between the cracks                    before the day                         beneath the night it belongs to you  and you to it.
Dec 7th
7 notes
The way the light chases you, what does that feel like? 
Dec 5th
8 notes
Dec 5th